


Doubtless Love

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo never died, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of childbirth, Morning Sickness, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rey's pregnancy seen through Ben's eyes, pregnancy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22244644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: “I missed my cycle this month.”His mind is still pushing through the fog of sleep, so he replies dumbly with, “Huh?”“Ben,” Rey whispers, taking his hands in both of hers.  “My cycle didn’t come this month.  I just realized.  It should have come two weeks ago, but it hasn’t.”“Oh.”“Yeah, oh.”***Or: Rey's pregnancy seen through Ben's eyes.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 50
Kudos: 392





	Doubtless Love

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write something like this for awhile now, and yesterday I sort of marathon wrote it. I hope you enjoy it! <3

Ben first notices something is up when the porgs begin taking a special interest in Rey. It starts with a small flock of them following her as she moves around the island, but as the days go by, their numbers increase. And soon, they’re not just following Rey but _crowding_ her. She seems not to think any of it, simply finding it amusing, but Ben’s not convinced.

After about two weeks of this, it’s not just a matter of crowding. They’ve begun to form a parameter around her, as if they are her own personal bodyguards.

“You really don’t think anything about this is weird?” he asks her one night over dinner in their small hut.

She shakes her head as she bites into her jogan fruit. With a full mouth, she answers, “Maybe they just really like me?”

“I think there’s more to it than that, Rey.”

She just shrugs.

It finally becomes obvious to Rey one day when she and Ben decide to spar. They don’t spar often, as there’s really no reason to. They live on a secluded island on Ahch-To, and they have no plans to leave, as Ben is exiled from New Republic territory indefinitely. Mainly, they just do it so that they don’t get rusty.

But as they ignite their sabers—Rey using her own that she’s built and Ben using grandfather’s—and move toward each other, the flock of porgs that had previously been watching warily flies between Rey and Ben, blocking them from fighting each other.

“What the hell?” Ben exclaims, backing up. He extinguishes his lightsaber so that he doesn’t hurt any of the porgs, although at this moment he’s not sure he’d mind ruffling a few feathers. They’ve been a nuisance, but now they’re stopping him from practicing with his wife.

“Whoa, now,” Rey laughs warily. “What’s going on here?”

“I’ve been trying to get you to see,” Ben says, exasperated, as he re-attaches his saber to his belt and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “Something’s going on. Something weird.”

“They weren’t like this the last time I was here.”

She fights her way through the porgs, who, thankfully, have at least landed once more.

“They haven’t been like this the whole time we’ve been here, and it’s been almost a year.”

“Maybe it’s some seasonal thing?” she suggests.

“Maybe,” Ben says, still not convinced.

That evening as they’re lying in the bed Ben had built for them when they’d first arrived on the island, Rey shoots up with a gasp.

Ben, who had been half-asleep, startles. “What? What is it?”

“I missed my cycle this month.”

His mind is still pushing through the fog of sleep, so he replies dumbly with, “Huh?”

“Ben,” Rey whispers, taking his hands in both of hers. “My cycle didn’t come this month. I just realized. It should have come two weeks ago, but it hasn’t.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_.”

It’s dark in the hut, but Ben’s eyes have adjusted enough so that he can make out Rey as more than just a blob in the blackness. He stares at her a moment, his mind processing what she’s just told him. 

When he speaks again, he says, “So, you’re…?”

“Well, I don’t know for sure. But…I think so.”

It’s not like they’d been _trying._ Then again, they also weren’t _not trying._ But to think that it had actually happened…to think that they could actually be starting a family…it’s more than Ben would have ever dared to dream for.

“How do we know for sure?”

“Well, I have an idea of who might be able to help, but it might be a little…difficult.”

***

The next morning, Ben and Rey make their way down to the settlement of lanais that live on the other side of the island. It’s only about a twenty-minute trek, but it’s made complicated by the now _dozens_ of porgs that form a parameter around them. All Ben wants is to get to the settlement quickly and get a definitive answer, but when there’s countless little porgs in front of him, scurrying along on their stubby little legs in front of him, it makes it a little difficult.

When they finally get there, two lanais spot them and approach them with caution. Ben has had nothing but pleasant run ins with the island caretakers, but he knows that, for whatever reason, they’re oddly suspicious of Rey.

“Hi,” Rey greets nervously, giving them a little wave. “We were hoping you could help us with something.”

They don’t speak basic, but it’s clear that they have at least a rudimentary understanding of it because they motion with their little arms for Rey to continue.

“I think that I might be pregnant,” Rey explains, glancing at Ben and grinning as she says it, “And I was hoping maybe you…had some type of way to confirm it. Some…test or something?”

This, though, _is_ apparently beyond their comprehension because now the two reptilian creatures cock their head in confusion.

Rey sighs, and Ben can sense in the Force that she’s trying not to let her frustration show. 

“Can I try?” Ben asks.

“Go for it,” Rey mutters.

Ben waves to the lanais in greeting before placing a hand on Rey’s abdomen. 

“We think she might be with child,” he says, rubbing her stomach in gentle circles. “But we’re not sure?”

When he says the last part, he puts his hands up, palms facing the sky, and shrugs, while making an overly exaggerated confused face. 

The lanais sort of squint their eyes, as if processing what Ben’s just said. For good measure, he repeats the movements a few times.

Finally, one of them seems to get it.

“Ahhh,” she croaks, nodding her head. She steps forward and tugs Rey away from Ben, muttering in her own language.

Rey looks at Ben a little helplessly, but he just shrugs and motions for her to go with them, as he follows a few steps behind. They reach a hut, and the lanai holding Rey’s hand squawks something into the enclosure. A moment later, another lanai comes out of the hut, and the two creatures speak animatedly to one another before motioning for Rey to enter the hut, followed by most of the porgs that had come along with them.

Ben tries to follow her, but the lanais block him from entering. They shake their heads and motion for him to have a seat on a small boulder nearby.

“I’d really like to go in with her,” Ben tries. 

“Neh, neh,” one of the lanai replies, still shaking her head. Once again, she points to the boulder.

“But the porgs got to go in with her,” he says petulantly.

“Neh, neh,” the lanai answers again.

He _could_ use the Force to try and make them a little more malleable to his request, but he’s sworn off doing that.

“Fine.”

Sighing, Ben begrudgingly accepts their answer and walks over to the rock where he sits and waits.

About ten minutes later, the lanais usher Rey out of the hut. Ben stands and rushes over to her. She’s grinning widely at him.

“Well?” he asks.

She throws her arms around him and hugs him tight. 

“ _Yes_ ,” she whispers into his ear.

***

Unfortunately, their celebration is short-lived due to the terrible morning sickness that soon befalls Rey.

Almost every morning, she jolts out of bed, runs out of their hut, and violently vomits into a nearby bucket. Always, Ben races after her and does his best to provide her comfort. He holds her hair back, rubs soothing circles into her back, and whispers tender words into her ear. When she’s done being sick, he ushers her back inside and back to bed, where he helps her get comfortable. From there, he makes some of the tea that Chewie and Finn had brought them from their last drop off three months prior. 

“Here you go,” he says, handing her a stone mug filled with the steaming drink.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, taking the mug and inhaling the gingery scent for a few seconds before taking a small sip.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She shakes her head before taking another sip.

A month goes by and the morning sickness doesn’t abate. Rey has lost weight and become a bit weak. And she’s utterly miserable. Ben decides he needs to do something. One evening after he’s helped Rey into bed, he goes down to the lanais’ settlement.

“I need your help,” he says slowly to the three that greet him. 

Their eyes widen.

“Rey,” he says, punctuating her name by patting his stomach, “She’s sick.”

He then imitates retching and vomiting, much to the disdain of the caretakers.

“Do you have anything that could maybe help her?” he asks, patting his stomach again for good measure.

Ben returns to his and Rey’s hut with a root syrup the lanais had given him. He hadn’t understood fully, but he was pretty sure it was supposed to help with the nausea.

So, the next morning, like almost every other morning, when Rey runs out of bed and out of the hut to throw up, Ben follows behind her with a spoon full of the syrup.

When she’s finished retching, he hands her the spoon. “Try this.”

“What is it?” she croaks, sitting back on the grass and wiping her sweaty brow.

“It’s supposed to help with the nausea, I think. The caretakers gave it to me.”

Rey takes the spoon from him and swallows the syrup, making a face at the bitter taste.

“That is awful.”

Ben chuckles sympathetically as he helps her up. “If it gets you feeling better, I don’t care how awful it tastes.”

He puts his arm around her waist and leads her back inside. She rests her head against him and sighs.

“Me too. Thank you, Ben.”

“You’re welcome. And if this doesn’t work, we’ll find something else.”

She gives him a tired but grateful smile as he helps her into bed. It lights up her face, and it’s only then that he realizes that she’s hasn’t truly smiled in weeks. There’s a warmth in his chest knowing that he was the one who was able to bring her beautiful grin back.

***

They’re lying in bed one evening after making love. It had been the first time Rey had felt up to it since learning she was pregnant, and something about this particular time had felt extra special.

Now both worn out and sated, Ben holds Rey in his arms, her back to his chest. His hands are on her abdomen—still almost completely flat—and his fingers are dancing lightly across it.

Rey, he’s certain, is already half asleep, but Ben is wide awake. He’s been trying for weeks now to feel his child’s Force signature, but so far, he hasn’t had much luck. It’s there, he knows, because he’s been able to sense a change in _Rey’s_ Force signature. There’s been something _blended_ about it, as if it wasn’t entirely her own anymore, but he hasn’t been able to distinguish between the two—or three. Twins do run in his family after all.

Closing his eyes, Ben tries again. He reaches out through the Force, trying to find his child, trying to differentiate his or her or their signature from Rey’s.

It takes him longer than he’d like, but finally, he thinks he feels something. It’s faint, barely there, but it’s definitely something. He reaches out to it.

_Hi_.

There’s no clear response, but it’s curious and it’s singular.

Not twins then, he chuckles. Rey will probably be relieved.

_I’m your dad._

Again, there isn’t a well-defined response, but there’s a feeling of excitement, of something akin to joy.

“Ben?”

Rey stirs in his arms, turning to face him. He reluctantly lets go of her belly so that she can fold herself into his embrace, and he re-wraps his arms around her back.

“What are you doing?” she mumbles.

"Talking to our child,” he responds. “I felt his or her Force signature, Rey.”

“You did?”

“Yes. Try it,” he says, squeezing her a little tighter against himself.

There’s quiet between them as Rey reaches out. He feels her Force signature mingle with his as she searches for their child’s. He knows she’s found it when she gasps.

“Stars, I feel it. I feel our child, Ben!”

“It’s amazing isn’t it,” he whispers into her hair.

“They’re so happy. There’s so much light there. It’s incredible!”

“It is,” he agrees. “And their signature is only going to get stronger as they grow.”

She laughs, a joyous sound that is music to his ear. 

“Can you even imagine?”

“I can’t,” he answers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

***

Ben watches from a distance as the _Millennium Falcon_ lands on the shore of the sea. Rey, always the one to greet Chewie and Finn, is a lot closer to the ship, but Ben likes to stand back to give her some time alone with Chewie and her friend. While Chewie may have forgiven Ben, he knows that Finn’s feelings are much more complicated. The man had begrudgingly accepted the fact that Rey and Ben were together, but it was clear he wasn’t too wild about it. And Ben thought it best to be out of the way when Rey shared the news of their growing family with him. Finn might have accepted their relationship, but soon there would be physical proof in a way there wasn’t before. And Ben didn’t know how Finn would react to that.

As the ramp lowers, Ben sees Chewie and Finn come down, both carrying crates of supplies. They stop by every few months, bringing food, clothes, and toiletries among other things.

Rey directs them where to put their crates down and then gives them both big hugs. Ben can’t help but smile as he watches her. He knows how much these appearances mean to her. He observes as she talks in her usual warm and friendly way, and Ben waits for the moment where she tells them. Even though he can’t hear her, he thinks he’ll know.

And sure enough, he can tell when it happens. Rey, who has a tendency to gesticulate animatedly, becomes a bit calmer and speaks for a long time with her hands mostly at her side. Then finally, she raises her right hand to her belly and taps it twice.

Chewie, without hesitation pulls her into a hug, and though Ben’s not exactly near her, he can feel Rey’s relief through the Force. Chewie releases her from his embrace, and Ben watches carefully as Finn and Rey stare at each other for a moment before Finn steps forward and wraps his arms around her.

Ben exhales in relief.

When they separate, Rey turns to where Ben is and waves him over. They hadn’t planned for this, but Ben slowly makes his way down the stone steps and toward the seashore.

He reaches Rey’s side, and she automatically puts her arm around his waist.

“Hey,” he says, waving awkwardly to Chewie and Finn. 

Chewie roars his return greeting, while Finn studies Ben carefully before speaking.

Rey said you two were expecting a baby.”

Rey leans into Ben a little more as he responds, “Yes. She’s a little over four months along.”

“That’s great news,” Finn says genuinely, before offering his hand for Ben to shake.

Ben does shake it, and then turns to Chewie who, of course, wraps him up in a hug so big he’s nearly lifted off the ground.

The Wookie growls softly in Ben’s ear, words only meant for him to hear, and Ben finds his eyes suddenly wet.

_Your parents would have been proud_ , he’d said.

Ben gives Chewie a meaningful look, hoping to express the gratitude that he can’t put into words as he steps back to put an arm around Rey.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Rey asks. “Ben’s a really good cook!”

They hadn’t planned for this either, but Ben finds himself hoping they’ll agree.

And they do.

***

Ben is outside early one morning just as the sun rises chopping woods. 

He’d been reluctant to leave Rey sleeping in their bed—as her stomach grew larger, it had become harder to be away from her—but the weather was getting cooler on the island, and they were going to need a constant supply of firewood soon.

As he continues to bring his axe down on the logs, his mind wanders to his own childhood, and how so much of it had been unhappy. His parents, though he knew with certainty now that they had loved him, more often than not had ignored him. Or when they were paying attention to him, it was because they were fighting over him. So much of his childhood had been unhappy, and so much of that unhappiness had stemmed from his parents.

He and Rey would be different. 

“ _Ben!_ ”

Rey’s urgent call breaks him away from his thoughts, and he immediately drops his axe and runs inside to see what’s wrong.

He finds her still in bed, though now she’s sitting up, cross-legged, chin to her chest and looking down at her slightly swollen stomach that she’s holding in her hands.

"What is it?” he asks breathlessly, looking around and trying to determine what’s wrong.

“The baby’s kicking,” she says in awe, her eyes not leaving her middle.

“The baby’s kicking?” he repeats.

She laughs, a soft delighted thing, and finally looks up to his gaze. Her hazel eyes are shining.

“Yes. Come here. I want you to feel.”

As if in a trance, Ben approaches the bed and goes to kneel beside it.

“No,” Rey tells him, scooting forward. “Come sit behind me.”

He does as she says, sitting behind her in the bed so that her back is resting against his chest. She removes her hands from stomach to take his and strategically place them where she thinks is best.

Ben feels it immediately. The baby inside Rey is kicking at her abdomen with a force stronger than Ben would have expected.

“Incredible,” he murmurs.

“The Force signature is stronger too,” she tells him, her voice still colored with wonder.

Ben closes his eyes and reaches out to his child.

Unlike last time, it takes him no time at all to find his child through the Force.

_Hi, little one_. _It’s your dad again._

Immediately, there is a rush of joy infused into the Force. Rey must sense it to because she gasps.

“You could sense that, right?”

“Yes. It was incredible.”

“Our kid’s going to be incredible,” Ben says. “Both physically strong and strong in the Force.”

“Sounds like they’re going to be a handful,” Rey chuckles, leaning back against him.

Ben snorts and says, “I can’t wait.”

***

It seems like one day Ben wakes up and Rey is huge.

He knows, logically, that this didn’t happen overnight, but one morning he looks at Rey, and he nearly gapes at how much her stomach has grown in recent months.

Ben loves it.

He can’t take his hands off her, and, thankfully, she doesn’t want him to.

After one particularly fantastic evening together while Ben is still trying to catch his breath, Rey crawls out of bed, grabs Ben’s dark brown tunic, and slips it on before heading into the side room of the hut to use the restroom. When she comes out, Ben’s breathing has returned to normal and his attention is focused on Rey’s figure as she moves across the hut… _in his shirt._

They’ve literally _just_ had sex, and yet Ben can feel his body reacting to seeing his pregnant wife wearing his shirt. He’s certain it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.

It becomes a habit. Her wearing his shirts. 

“They’re bigger, so they fit me better,” she says one morning when he comments on it.

“I like you in them.”

Rey giggles and the most beautiful blush pinks her cheeks. “I’ve noticed.”

“You have?”

"You’re even worse than usual,” she says fondly as she approaches him where he’s sitting at their table. 

“Worse?” he says, swallowing hard as she stands in front of him and puts her hands on his shoulders.

“You’re _insatiable_ ,” she says. 

Her hazel eyes darken as she leans forward, her lips only centimeters from his.

“I am,” Ben agrees, his voice coming out as a choked whisper.

“I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely,” she tells him, before closing the distance between them.

He allows her to kiss her for a nice long moment before scooping her up in his arms and taking her to bed where he’s able to rip his shirt right off of her.

***

Things change when Rey reaches the thirty-nine-week mark. She becomes easily agitated and cranky, and Ben has to be careful around her so as not to set her off.

“What can I do, Rey? What can I do to help you?” he asks her, exasperated, one evening after they’ve had the second most ridiculous fight they’ve had since sunrise.

“I don’t know,” she sighs miserably. “My feet hurt, my back hurts, I’m exhausted, I have to pee every five minutes—I just want it to be over! I want the baby to be here.”

“They will be,” Ben assures her, pulling her into his arms. Her belly impedes their hug a little, but they make do. “Soon. Real soon.”

She starts to cry. Ben runs his hand through her hair and whispers soothing words to her.

“I’m sorry I called you an asshole,” she sniffles after a few moments.

Ben chuckles. “Don’t worry about it, Rey.”

“I love you,” she mumbles against his chest.

“I love you too.”

***

On one of the evenings Rey is feel a bit better, Ben suggests they go for an evening walk like they used to when they first arrived on the island.

“It might be one of the last times we get to do it, just the two of us,” he explains when she answers him with only a curious look.

She agrees, and they spend the next hour hand-in-hand strolling around the island in the moonlight—surrounded by porgs, of course.

“I’m glad we came here,” he tells her. 

“Me too. I can’t imagine living on a planet that was freezing and constantly had snow…or worse, sand.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop thanking you for coming with me. You had a choice. You could have gone anywhere. You didn’t need to lock yourself away in exile with me.”

“Ben,” she begins, squeezing her hand. “It was never a choice for me. I was always going to be where you are.”

“You didn’t have to though.”

“I did,” she tells him fiercely, pausing their walk.

She turns to him and cups his face, and for the millionth time, he’s captivated by the glow that pregnancy has given her.

“You’re mine. And I’m yours. We’re bonded, Ben. Living without you would have been living half a life. Being here, with you—there’s no place I’d rather be.”

Her devotion moves him to tears

“I’m the luckiest man in the galaxy.” 

“You are,” she agrees, laughing.

He starts chuckling too and tears of both immense gratitude and laughter begin streaming down his cheeks. Rey reaches up to wipe them away, but just as her hand touches his cheek, she swears, her hand freezing just before it comes in contact with his face.

“What?” he asks, alarmed.

Rey looks down at her feet. “My water just broke.”

***

As previously planned, Ben takes Rey to the lanais’ settlement.

She’s laid out on a pallet in one of their huts, while a handful of the caretakers fuss around her. Thankfully, this time Ben _is_ allowed in the room, and he sits dutifully at her side, letting her squeeze his hand each time she has a contraction.

“Is it almost over?” she cries through a particular painful contraction.

Ben looks at the caretakers, hoping they can understand Rey’s question. Two of them nod before grabbing Ben by the hands and pulling him out of his seat. They bring him to the foot of the bed, where he sees _his child’s head_.

“Oh, stars,” he mumbles, immediately feeling lightheaded. 

“What is it?” Rey asks, frantic.

Ben is already back at her side when he answers, “It’s almost over. I could see the head.”

“You could?” she asks, and suddenly, her entire demeanor changes from cranky and exhausted to refreshed and exuberant.

“Yes. Probably only a few more pushes.”

And sure enough, a few more pushes is all it takes before one of the lanais, the one who clearly has been running things since they arrived hours ago, reaches forward and pulls out a baby.

It’s a baby girl, and she is _beautiful._

After the cord is cut and she’s been wiped down a bit, she’s given to Rey, who places her at her breast.

“I can’t believe we made something so perfect,” she tells him, as she carefully rubs the top of daughter’s head. It’s covered with thin black hair, obviously from Ben, though he hopes she’ll get the rest of her looks from Rey.

“Me neither,” he says, unable to take his eyes off of her.

***

They name her Aria, and after Rey’s sufficiently recovered, they take her back to their hut, where Ben had constructed a little crib for her to sleep in.

One night, Ben watches as Rey breastfeeds their daughter beside him in their bed. Aria’s a hungry baby and a slow eater, Ben thinks, so it doesn’t really surprise him when Rey, who’s been sitting up in bed, falls asleep mid-breastfeed. Aria keeps suckling away until she’s had her fill, before detaching and beginning to snuffle.

Not wanting to wake Rey, Ben carefully lifts Aria into his arms and holds her against his chest.

Like he’s always been with Rey, he can’t seem to take his eyes off of his daughter, and as he gazes down at her, her bluish gray eyes drift up towards his.

“Hello, little girl,” he whispers tenderly.

Aria lets out another soft snuffle, and Ben chuckles.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for you. Longer than maybe I’ve even realized.”

He knows babies don’t have very good vision, but he swears Aria is watching him and intently listening to what he’s saying.

“All I’ve ever wanted was a family filled with unquestionable love. And your mom, she gave me that. Both by giving me herself and now giving me you.”

Ben pauses to inhale a quiet breath as he feels himself growing choked up.

“And I promise, darling girl, that I will always love you. Not only that, you will always know. You won’t doubt it for a second, I swear. No matter what happens. No matter who you become or what you do, I will always love you, and you will always have a home here with me and your mama.”

Her eyes have drifted closed since he’s been talking, but it’s no matter. Ben knows she doesn’t understand now and won’t for some time. He’ll remind her every single day.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/castles_crowns) and/or [Tumblr!](https://castles-and-crowns.tumblr.com)


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